When Boredom Strikes Hogwarts
by CuteDiva
Summary: What happens when Hogwarts students discover 7 Minutes In Heaven and Truth or Dare? Find out in my disturbing SUPER-CLICHE!!!! The final chapter includes an odd cameo from the cast of the Mummy Returns. Go figure.
1. Default Chapter

When Boredom Strikes Hogwarts  
by CuteDiva  
  
A/N: This is my ultimate super-cliche! What happens when several Hogwarts students take up playing Muggle party games to keep boredom at bay? Total and utter chaos, that's what! And if you want to read more insanity, read my other humor HP series, "Pansy and the Pussycats," Chapter 2 coming soon!  
P.S. This is probably the strangest fic I've ever written (even stranger than "Hermione, Your Breath REALLY Stinks!") and I am definitely going to write more chapters, so, please, be warned.  
  
(Harry, Ron, Hermione, and several other Gryffindors are hanging out in the common room, extremely bored.)  
  
Harry: I am SO bored!  
  
Seamus: I know! Let's play Seven Minutes in Heaven!  
  
Ron: What?  
  
Seamus: It's a Muggle party game. See, you get paired up with someone, and then you go into a closet and make out for seven minutes.  
  
Hermione: No WAY! I HATE that game! (tries to run, but Harry stops her.)  
  
Ron: Oh! (goes to his room to get breathmints.)  
  
Dean: Okay, should we draw ballots?  
  
Lavender: Sure!  
  
Dean: Okay. Harry, you're up first. (hands Harry a basket with girls' names in it.)  
  
Harry: I got Ginny.  
  
Ginny: YAY! (leaps onto Harry, but Ron stops her.)  
  
Ron: GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY SISTER, YOU PERVERT!  
  
Ginny: (drags Harry into the closet.)  
  
Seven minutes later...  
  
(Harry and Ginny come out, Harry is wearing a different shirt and has lipstick smeared over his face, and Ginny is squealing like a pig being branded.)  
  
Ron: I'M GONNA KILL YOU! (lunges for Harry.)  
  
Dean: Okay, Harry, pick someone else to take a turn.  
  
Harry: (being beaten up by Ron) Fred!  
  
Fred: (grabs a ballot) SCORE! I got Parvati.  
  
Parvati: AGH! Red hair! NO! Professor Trelawney said-  
  
(Fred drags her into the closet, comes out 2 minutes later with a red handprint on his face.)  
  
George: That's gotta hurt. Fred, pick someone.  
  
Fred: Hermione.  
  
Hermione: NO! I'm getting out of here!  
  
Seamus, Harry, and Ron: NO YOU DON'T!  
  
(Hermione puts up a courageous fight, but ends up having to take her turn anyways.)  
  
Hermione: I got Ron! (blushes.)  
  
Ron: Ew! I don't want to kiss you! EW, EW, EW, EWWWWWWW!  
  
Hermione: Well, no skin off my nose, Freckles!  
  
Ron: Oh yeah?  
  
Hermione: Yeah!  
  
Ron: Oh yeah?  
  
Hermione: Yeah!  
  
Ron: Oh yeah?  
  
Hermione: Yeah!  
  
(They suddenly find themselves sucking face in the closet.)  
  
Seven minutes later...  
  
Fred: Okay, it's time to come out now!  
  
(Silence)  
  
Seven more minutes later...  
  
Fred: You guys, your time is up!  
  
(Silence)  
  
One hour later...  
  
Fred: Are you two okay in there?  
  
(Hears strange giggly, moany noises coming out from the closet)  
  
Ginny: Ew!  
  
Harry: Gross.  
  
Seamus: I don't think they'll be coming out any time soon.  
  
Parvati: Uh, I think we should, um, get on with the game...  
  
(Everyone agrees, trying to ignore the sickening howls from the closet).  
  
Lavender: I wanna try! (Draws ballot). I got (cringes) Colin Creevey.  
  
Colin: Oh, yeah!  
  
Lavender: Let's just get this over with.   
  
(Noises in closet get louder.)  
  
Hermione (from inside closet): Yes! Yes!  
  
Ron (from inside closet): Tell me who's your daddy!  
  
Harry: You know what? Let's just get out of here. I'm tired of this game.  
  
All: Yeah.  
  
(They all walk off, except Colin.)  
  
Colin: Hey! How come I didn't get some?  
  
A/N: Sick, stupid crap, ain't it? Hopefully, this made you laugh at LEAST one time. Please review, or I'll be sad. I just can't write humor! (Score 1 point for Captain Obvious!) Anyways, please review, no flames, you were warned at the start of this story. In the next chapter, they'll either play Truth or Dare or Spin the Bottle. I haven't decided yet. Whatever the game, Ron and Hermione won't be as... shall we say, hormonal? I promise! Peace out! 


	2. When Boredom Strikes Hogwarts II

When Boredom Strikes Hogwarts II- Truth or Dare  
by CuteDiva  
  
A/N: Fear me, for I am a hyper little sugar addict! *cackles* Better yet, fear this fic, which you are, for some reason, reading. In this chapter, the Gryffindors, not having learned their lesson, play another annoying party game. What chaos will unfold? Only time (and you reading) will tell...  
  
(Gryffindor Common Room- The Gryffindors are lazing around, bored and tired.)  
  
George: Hey, Seamus, do you know any more of those Muggle party games?  
  
Seamus: We COULD play Truth or Dare... It doesn't involve a closet, so I don't think certain PEOPLE will try anything (glares at Ron and Hermione, who both blush.)  
  
Fred: Sounds good. How do you play?  
  
Seamus: (explains how to play Truth or Dare.)  
  
Fred: I'll start. Parvati! Truth or Dare?  
  
Parvati: Um... Truth!  
  
Fred: What size bra do you wear?  
  
Parvati: (gasps) Why do YOU want to know?  
  
Fred: Curiosity?  
  
Parvati: ARGH! Oh, alright. (mumbles) 28AAA.  
  
(All those present start laughing furisouly, except Dean, who glares at them all.)  
  
Parvati: Alright, now one of you is gonna get it! Harry! Truth... or DARE?  
  
Harry: Um... Truth, I guess.  
  
Parvati: Who is the hottest girl in Hogwarts?  
  
Harry: I'm not answering that (turns red).  
  
Parvati: You HAVE to!  
  
Harry: Can I answer a different question?  
  
Parvati: Alright. Who do you like?  
  
Harry: That's practically the same question!  
  
Fred: Just answer, wimp!  
  
Harry: NO!  
  
(Fred and George get Harry into a headlock until he chokes out "Cho Chang!")  
  
Hermione: You like HER!? EW!  
  
Harry: Alright, smart aleck. Truth or Dare?  
  
Fred: (whispering to George) She'll probably pick Truth. She's gutless.  
  
Hermione: Oh, really, Fred? In that case, I pick Dare!  
  
Harry: Um... take something off.  
  
(All the boys whistle)  
  
Hermione: Do I HAVE to?  
  
Harry: Yes.  
  
Hermione: (groans and takes off a sock.) Happy?  
  
Fred and George: NOT GOOD ENOUGH!  
  
Hermione: Go lick a boggart's ass.  
  
Seamus: Okay, Hermione, pick someone.  
  
Hermione: Katie. Truth or Dare?  
  
Katie: I'm game for a Dare.  
  
Hermione: Set off a Dungbomb in Snape's office while he's in there.  
  
Katie: You are out of your mind! Do I look like I want to die?  
  
Hermione: Fine, if you're scared...  
  
Katie: Me, scared? HA!  
  
(Goes off to Snape's office, and returns 20 minutes later)  
  
Katie: I did it!  
  
Hermione: How are you still alive?  
  
Katie: I set it off when he was reading "Witch Weekly".  
  
Hermione: Oh.  
  
(Silence)  
  
Katie: Alright, someone else... Seamus, Truth or Dare?  
  
Seamus: Dare.  
  
Katie: Dress like a hooker, then run around the school and offer favors to as many guys as you can.  
  
Seamus: Alright. Lavender, can I borrow your leather bra and thong set?  
  
Lavender: (blushes furiously and glares at Seamus) But, honey, the last time you made me do this-  
  
Seamus: LAVENDER!  
  
Lavender: Fine. It's in my top drawer, right next to our set of handcuffs.  
  
Seamus: Cool (leaves.)  
  
(Everyone stares at Lavender).  
  
Lavender: What? Oh, come on, like you guys haven't scored chained onto the astronomy tower.  
  
Fred: Hey, whatever turns you on.  
  
George: (speaking under his breath) So THAT'S what made all those weird noises when I was trying to sleep.   
  
30 Minutes Later...  
  
(Seamus enters the common room, still dressed like a hooker)  
  
Seamus: Okay, I offered myself up to 15 guys.  
  
Katie: What happened?  
  
Seamus: (Takes out a notepad) Hmm... 1 said yes, 2 said no, 4 kept walking, 2 ran off screaming for help, 1 called the police, 4 laughed, and 1 started crying.  
  
Harry: And with good reason!  
  
Seamus: That wasn't that hard (pulls 4 Knuts out of stuffed bra while all the others look on in horror.)  
  
Lavender: Seamus, I thought you loved me!  
  
A/N: Okay, I think that was even scarier than the last chapter, no? Please, please review, and don't flame me. The next chapter will probably be Spin the Bottle. If anyone has any ideas for more games I can feature (I've run out of ideas) please, include it in a review. And, please, nothing kinky (sorry, Lav and Seamus!)  



	3. When Boredom Strikes Hogwarts III- The E...

When Boredom Strikes Hogwarts III: Spin The Bottle  
by CuteDiva  
  
A/N: Okay, it's been a while, but I'm gonna try and put my muse back to work. I started this fic way back before summer, and now it is a few months into the school year. I'm going to go back to writing my abandoned fics(I don't know if this should delight you or horrify you). Anyways, this will probably be the last chapter, since I don't know any more party games that are worthwhile. So, here it is, Part III, Spin the Bottle, with a special cameo from the cast of The Mummy Returns.  
  
[Gryffindor Common Room]  
  
Harry: I'm so bored.  
  
Hermione: Oh, no you don't! Everytime someone around here says that, I get caught playing some stupid and immature game.  
I'm going to do something more worthwhile with my time, thank you very much. (Tries to go to her dormitory, but Lavender and Parvati, who have had too much pumpkin juice, are pulling her back to the common room and giggling like hyenas.)  
  
Fred: Okay, today, we play Spin the Bottle.  
  
Ron: Well, see, Hermione, that's not too bad.  
  
(Hermione glares at Ron. Their little fling had ended when Ron had tacked posters of Playmates from Seamus's magazines onto his bedroom walls.)  
  
Parvati: I'm game. But let's make this interesting. WHOEVER the bottle lands on, you kiss. And everyone votes on the TYPE of kiss.  
  
Harry: I am not kissing a boy! That is so gross!  
  
Ron: Parvati, your knickers must be on too tight.  
  
Parvati: You have no business with my knickers! (Pulls at underpants in an insulted manner.)  
  
Fred: Well, if we're going to play, let's go outside where it is not quite as hot. It's nice and breezy outside.  
  
[Outside]  
  
Hermione: Alright, who's got the stupid bottle?  
  
Fred: (Takes last sip of a bottle of orange juice he stole from house elves) Here.  
  
Parvati: Everyone, on the floor. Sit boy-girl, boy-girl. I'll go first. (Spins bottle)  
  
Harry: Ew! I don't want to kiss you.  
  
Parvati: Oh, Harry, don't play games!  
(Lunges on poor Harry and Frenches him, while Harry has a look of horror as he gasps for breath.)  
  
Harry: (gasps) Can't... breathe. Must... get... air... All... is turning... black... (Faints)  
  
Hermione: Oh, Parvati, look what you've done! (Walks over to Harry and slaps him.)  
  
Harry: What? Where am I?  
  
Hermione: Oh, shut up, you male.  
  
Fred: Okay, Harry, your turn.  
  
Harry: Pass! (clutches chest)  
  
Oliver Wood: Just spin the bloody bottle.  
  
Harry: Fine!!  
(Spins bottle, and it lands on a book-version of The Mummy Returns).  
  
Harry: Great, now, what larks. I have to kiss a BOOK.  
  
(Book starts violently shaking, and the entire cast of the Mummy Returns jumps out of the pages)  
  
Brendan Fraser, who plays Rick: Where are we? This doesn't look like the cursed pyramid tomb of Imhotep! What gives????  
  
Rachel Weiss, who plays Evie: I think we've travelled back through time into a Medieval castle. Why, look at the primitive art! The strange-looking children!  
  
All students: HEY!  
  
Imhotep, the Mummy: (mutters something in Egyptian, and a thousand little bugs crawl through Parvati's skin until she spontaneously combusts)  
  
Parvati: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!  
  
All: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ron: (looks at cast of the Mummy Returns) Hey, you guys wanna play Spin the Bottle?  
  
Brendan: Yeah.  
  
Rachel: Whatever.  
  
Imhotep: (skips merrily into the circle and claps hands) Duck Duck Goose! Duck Duck Goose!  
  
Harry: Oh, Lord.  
  
Hermione: Somebody, just shoot me.  
  
A/N: Um, okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Even I am a little scared of that intriguing...... piece. Well. It was crap, yes, but at least I finished it. Flame if you want, I need a good laugh... 


End file.
